Now

First things first, I want to share this blog post I read a while ago. To a degree, this post comes from the same place my last post came from. As I get closer to my tentative goal range, I feel this struggle more and more. It’s getting harder and harder to get the scale to move, especially as my focus shifts to running long distances for which I need ample fuel. AND THAT IS OKAY! But some days, it is hard. I have ‘smile, nod, yes, thank you, I have lost a lot. No, I’m not trying to lose any more; you don’t need to worry.’ I’m very good at this script, but it’s been such a lie, readers.”

While I have learned to love my strength and my capabilities during this journey I, too, have failed to nix the notion of ‘after’. Reading this woman’s post was like seeing so many of the thoughts I have been having written on someone else’s blog. I’ve been trying to live everyday as a day in a life, not as another opportunity to lose, which is what it had started to become as the digital numbers on the scale stopped moving as easily as they once had. I have been trying to reconcile pictures of me over a year ago with the pictures of me now. This is difficult, not because I look different, but because I feel so different; so much more empowered. Even though that empowerment comes from realizing my own strength, I have somehow gone and gotten it attached to weight loss.
Bam. *Mic drop*

I had wanted to write an entirely different post and now I find myself lost in the abyss of feels. I will leave you with this…as my faithful readers know, running has become such a HUGE force in my life. Being able to focus on those goals is what keeps me loving me most of the time, rather than looking forlornly at that evil weighing machine. I urge those looking to become healthier and possibly lose weight to find something like this- something with a goal that takes focus away from your weight. I am fairly certain I have issued this proclamation before. I mean it. Go try to lift all of the things or swim as far or as long as you’d like or try to jump rope a certain amount of times.
You got this.